


the breadstitcks meme (a remix)

by darth_stitch



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes in Denial, Dating, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Romance, denial is not just a river in egypt, the breadsticks meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4809707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_stitch/pseuds/darth_stitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, Bucky Barnes knew how to date.   If he could just maybe stop pining over Steve and wanting to share breadsticks with him instead, he might get the hang of this whole dating thing again.  </p>
<p>He hopes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the breadstitcks meme (a remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [the breadsticks meme](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4465256) by [darth_stitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_stitch/pseuds/darth_stitch). 



> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/128222375511/the-breadsticks-meme-a-remix)

**one**

Once upon a time, Bucky Barnes knew how to date. 

No, really.  This was not rocket science.  All a fella needed to do was to walk up to the lady in question (after making sure that she was currently unattached, because stealing another fella’s gal was a good way to get punched in the face), be polite and charming and ask her out for a milkshake or a coffee or maybe go see that new movie.

And if she said no, take the hit like a man and respect the lady’s choice.

Mama Barnes raised her son to be a proper gentleman.  If there was _one_ thing that Bucky would not argue with Steve about sticking his nose into, it’s respecting ladies.  Truth: about half the fights the two of them had got into was nearly always because Steve absolutely could not stand seeing someone behave like a jerk to a woman.  

So this, as Bucky's therapist put it, was basically an exercise in reclaiming a part of himself that had been ripped away by those HYDRA sons of bitches.  It wasn’t that he expected to be Tyrone Power ( _Fine, yes, Darcy, I will update my references, Jesus_ ) from the get-go, but just have a nice time with a nice gal, have a good conversation, get some great food, maybe see a show or a movie, be _human_ again.  

“Breadsticks?” Steve, because he’s the best pal a fella could have, made this generous offer as soon as Bucky flopped down on the couch beside him.

“Are these from Mama Corleone’s?”  Oh yes, the sweet softness of the bread, the garlic and the hint of cheese.  Mama Corleone had the best breadsticks in New York.  Her grandson Mikey had inherited the recipe and her knack for it.

Steve put a hand on his chest in mock-affront.  “Y’think I’d get breadsticks from anywhere else?”

“Mmmm.  Mmmmmmmmmm.”  Bucky was totally not making sex noises over food. 

They were food noises. _Good_ food noises.  There was a difference. 

“Do I need to leave ya alone with the breadsticks, Buck?  Because I gotta tell you - I can share ‘em but I won’t give you all of them.”

“Shaddup, ya punk.  And you’re looking mighty flushed there - you’re not supposed to get sick anymore, are you?”

“Shaddup and eat your breadsticks, you jerk.”

See, Steve knew that there was no need to ask what happened on Bucky’s date.  ( _Yes, it was a bit of a bust.  Don’t ask, don’t tell._ ) That’s why he was Bucky’s best pal. 

It wasn’t like Bucky could hope for anything more, right?

* * *

 

**two**

Steve had warned him.

So apparently, Natashenka had a bit of a thing for matching up people.  She was inordinately proud that she got Rhodey hooked up with Carol Danvers and that Pietro and Skye were having fun together (despite the traditional shovel talk from Director “Sorry-I-Forgot-To-Tell-You-I’m-Not-Dead” Coulson).   So now, the Great Yenta Project of 2k18 was now solidly focused on Bucky.

God have mercy on his soul.

“I mean, it’s highly unlikely Nat could’ve known Sally from HR had a thing for roleplaying,” Steve tried to console him.  Over breadsticks.

“I am not interested in playing Christian Grey or anything that does not involve the words ‘safe, sane and consensual.’  Hell, Steve, I don’t think I can even manage beyond a kiss on the cheek right now,” Bucky said from the safety of the Captain America shield pillow Tony had so thoughtfully gifted them with.

“Aw, Buck, you are still the best kisser in Brooklyn.”

“What?”

“Mary Kate Daugherty, Susie Williams and Clara Henderson - to name a few, swore up and down on your technique.  Had ‘em swooning away.”

Bucky snorted.

“Look, you even taught _me_.”

And at that point he choked on air.  Because he _remembered._

Steve looked wistful.  “It wasn’t about teeth or tongues or the spit-swapping.  You told me to take my time, make ‘em feel cherished and special.  Keeping it sweet.”

“Wasn’t Betsy Greenberg your first kiss, Stevie?”

Steve chortled.  “I was _fourteen_.  She was a firecracker of a gal.  Kinda like Peggy, to be honest.  But yeah, it was pretty special.  Thanks to you.”

Nope, Bucky wasn’t feeling this funny pain in his chest or getting that fluttery feeling in his stomach at the memory of how Betsy Greenberg looked afterwards, flushed and her eyes all soft and smiling at Steve.  It was a damn shame she moved away too.  Yeah.  Really.  A damn shame for Steve.

“You got anymore of those breadsticks, pal?”

Steve did.  Yeah.  Breadsticks were the best thing for him right now.

* * *

 

**three**

Fuck HYDRA.

No, really. 

If it were at all possible, Bucky would really love to resurrect Arnim Zola and Alexander Pierce so he could kill them a lot slower and a lot more painfully.  Bucky had a healthy amount of paranoia in him - it came with the job description, but for Chrissakes, the cute little art student he met at his favorite coffee shop - the one that he was going to date - should not _turn out to be a motherfucking HYDRA agent in disguise._

He tried not to think of how HYDRA actually and scarily predicted the kind of person that might appeal to him - art student, tiny, cute as a button, blonde, blue-eyed and with a smile full of sunshine.  Yeah.  Best not to think of that too hard.  That way lies madness. 

There were far more important things to worry about.  Like the rest of the HYDRA agents popping out of the woodwork, all intent on bringing their Asset back into the fold. 

Hell. _Fuck._ No.

“Aw, coffee,” Bucky said mournfully as he surveyed the wreck of the coffee shop.  On the bright side, the Avengers were going to cover the cost of repairs - they had plenty of funding. 

“You channeling Clint now?  Chin up - Coulson’s Minions will get them sorted out in no time,” Steve tried to comfort him.

“Thanks, Steve, I really didn’t need to know that the little yellow banana-obsessed guys were _real_ ,” Bucky grumbled.  “Also - my Sniper Brother has plenty of words of wisdom.  You guys just need to listen to him more.”

Steve nodded solemnly.  And then;  “Breadsticks?”

“You’re the best pal a fella could have, you know that, right, Stevie?”

Bucky wasn’t sure why Steve smiled so sadly at that.  “Yeah, I know.”

* * *

 

**four  
**

Bucky missed dance halls.

Not that 21st music was awful - hell, Bucky was definitely into Fall Out Boy - and he _loved_ watching all these new dance moves.  But he wasn’t too fond of the whole “bump-and-grind” thing that was happening in most clubs these days, which were, to his mind, exercises in “How To Sneak In A Good Grope Without Even Being Classy About It.”

Hell, even with his memory doing its best impression of Swiss Cheese, Bucky could at least remember being charming while trying to get a little further with a gal, but always no more than what _she_ would allow _him_ to do and it usually involved a great deal of giggling and kissing and generally having a good time.

He was _not_ going to torture himself by imagining the formerly bitty version of Steve in his arms, with a great deal of giggling and kissing involved.

Hell no. 

Stop it this instant, brain!

So it was while Bucky was frantically trying to give his imagination a stern talking-to, that he saw that douchecanoe slip something into the drink of that tiny girl who may or may not be old enough to be allowed into the bar. 

Bucky was going with the best case scenario.  She probably just looked _that_ young.

So of course, he stepped in and got the douchecanoe thrown out of the bar and so it was that he made the acquaintance of Megan Jo.  Who was definitely old enough to be in that bar and had the actual ( _no, it’s not a fake, okay?_ ) ID to prove it.

So strictly speaking this was not actually a date.  But the two of them ended up at this old-fashioned type of ice cream parlor and it was over chocolate chip ice cream that Megan ended up telling him about her idiot _not-actually-my-boyfriend_ Julian Kim.

Who was, apparently, suffering from a severe case of “I think you deserve better than me, so I’m never going to tell you how much I care about you and I will just pine after you from afar.”

Which totally did not resemble Bucky’s situation in the least.  Nope, nope, nope.

Their Not Date ended with Bucky escorting a giggly, sugar-high Megan home, only to be met at the door by a scowling man that Bucky presumed was Julian.

“Hi Julian! This is my Not Date!”

Yeah.  Definitely Julian. 

Bucky gave him a salute and a lazy smile.  Also:  “Get your head out of your ass soon, buddy.  You might just be surprised at the results.”

Well, maybe Bucky wasn’t too good at taking his own advice. But he got home and this time, he brought the breadsticks for Steve. 

* * *

 

**an intervention with darcy lewis, because sam wilson has a life beyond playing matchmaker/therapist to two idiot nonagenarians who should really get their shit together although he is still a good friend and okay darcy loves her uncle bucky  
**

It's a bit of a headtrip to have a great-niece (he's trying not to add anymore "greats" in there, it'll just give him a headache) who's physically just a few years younger than he is.   But Bucky's pretty happy to reconnect with his surviving family members and the current running joke is that Darcy is his favorite out of the Barnes Horde of Niblings. 

(Yes, it's a literal horde, with the tinier ones crawling all over him to give him hugs and kisses and demands for storytime.  When Storytime happens, Bucky knows it's time to call in for reinforcements - namely:  Steve.  _He_ gets to suffer the Horde Assault too.)

Right now, Bucky is going to give the title of Favorite Nibling to one of his younger great-nieces, Sophia, the one who declared to the Avengers that "Uncle Bucky" was Snow White. 

“The way I see it,” Darcy begins, absently twirling her milkshake straw, “is that you have two choices.  Door Number One:  Confess your undying love to Steve, because for the love of Pete, you’ve been carrying that torch for him for the past several hundred years and live happily ever after – “

“We’re not _that_ old!”

“Door Number Two:  Continue suffering in silence beautiful and keep on going on these pointless dates to delude yourself because you’d really rather be dating Steve instead.”

“Door Number Three: Steve doesn’t think of me in that way and I ruin our friendship.  Hell. Fuck. No, Lewis.”

Darcy gave him a staredown.  “The man went on a suicide mission to save your ass – “

“Because he’s a heroic self-sacrificing idiot, that’s why!”

“ – took down SHIELD when he found out about the whole Winter Soldier thing – “

“SHIELD was infested with HYDRA at that point, he didn’t have a choice!”

“ – and he still lives in daily terror that one of us will blab about the elevator story to _you._ I quote: ‘ _Because Bucky gave me hell for the grenade story and this is going to be even worse.’’’ ”  
_

“Hold on, what the fuck, _what elevator story are you talking about?”_

Darcy waved her hands airily.  “The _two of you_ have been pining after each other for the past seventy-odd years.  Come on!  You two deserve to be happy.  Isn’t this what this whole dating thing is really about?”

“I got blood on my hands that’ll never come off.  He deserves better.  He always has.”

Darcy was unmoved.  “ _Uncle Bucky._   Y’know, even Grandma knew how much you loved Uncle Punk.  Not just as a best friend.  She _knew._   She’d want you two to be happy.”

Bucky tried not to smile.  It was an epic failure. “ _Uncle Punk?”_

“My grandmother will haunt me from beyond the grave if I failed to convince you to finally make Uncle Punk officially part of the family.  Go get him, James Buchanan Barnes.” 

And she handed him the breadsticks too. 

* * *

 

**five**

Once upon a time, Bucky Barnes knew how to date. 

All a fella had to do was walk up to his best pal - because Steve would always be his best pal - and maybe-sorta-kinda-possibly see if he was up to going out to Coney Island. 

If Steve said no, Bucky was going to take the hit like a man and respect his choice and –

“Sure, Buck, I’d love to go.  I don’t think I’ll throw up on the Cyclone anymore though.”

_He said yes! He said yes! He said – wait, maybe he thinks it’s just two buddies going to hang out, have a good time together.  
_

_Aw, fuck me._

“Call me a little old-fashioned, but I think I at least oughta get some cotton candy and a teddy bear before anything else, yeah?” Steve said, red in his cheeks going all the way down his neck and possibly his chest. 

Shit, he said that aloud, didn’t he? And… wait.

Oh.

_Oh._

“Cotton candy and a teddy bear?  You’re easy, Rogers.”

“Not just any teddy bear, Bucko.”  There was a definite evil gleam of mischief in those clear azure eyes ( _damn it, why am I quoting Tony Stark at this point_ ) now.

_“No.”_

“I have a soft spot for Bucky Bears, what can I say?”

Bucky discovered several things on this date.

All Steve had to do was bat those beautiful blue eyes and aim that sunshine smile in his direction and he was off to win the biggest damn Bucky Bear in Coney Island, all for his baby.

Steve’s blush definitely extended all the way down to his chest and Bucky had the best time mapping the path of that blush with his lips and tongue.

Cotton-candy flavored kisses with Steve were the sweetest thing in the world. 

There were breadsticks in their future, but only because Mama Corleone’s served the best breadsticks and pasta and two super soldiers can’t live on cotton candy and kisses alone.  But they did, in fact, made a good attempt at it. 

Their next date involved the museum and the latest Stark Expo, even if Tony was going to be insufferable about it - because there was nothing like going to the future, with his best pal and the love of his life. 

* * *

 

**a postscript:**

"Baby?"

"Yeah, Buck?"

"Darcy mentioned something about you and an elevator.  I'd like to hear about that story."

"Oh, gee, golly, gosh - look at the time - I think there's another alien invasion - "

"Steve."

"Really, Buck.  Avengers assemble!"

" _Steven Grant Rogers!"_

_\- end -  
_

**Author's Note:**

> a.  Um, I hope that [greenbergsays](http://tmblr.co/mGpDMywraA-VDrJJRzOx8wA) does not mind being Steve’s first kiss in this universe. 
> 
> b.  Megan Jo and Julian Kim are actually the 21st century versions of our cute couple from _Scholar Who Walks The Night._ Yes, Korean Count Bunnicula makes an appearance! 
> 
> c.  The original breadsticks meme fic is up on [AO3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4465256) and on my [Tumblr](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/125432149591/the-breadsticks-meme).


End file.
